Pecans in the cemetery
On
the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of
nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the
nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another
boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought
he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for
you, one for me." He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike
and rode off.
Just around the bend he met an old man with a
cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "You won't
believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery
dividing up the souls." The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's
hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled
slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One
for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered,
"Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the
Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still
unable to see anything.
The old man and the boy gripped the
wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get
a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me.
That's all.
Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll
be done." They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes
ahead of the kid on the bike.
The Backyard
Author Unknown
I
live in the backwoods of Texarkana, and if you've ever been, you
already know that weird things happen there!! Just about everybody I
know has a spooky story to tell. For the last several months (off and
on) there have been very strange noises coming from my backyard. At
first I thought it was a deer or a wild dog or something, but the
noises are just so bizarre!
It started off about 4
months ago. I woke up one night to hear a scratching sound coming from
the backyard. I dismissed it and tried to go back to bed, but the noise
continued all night long. The next day I told my husband about the
noise, and he said that it was probably just a deer. So I forgot about
it until about 2 weeks later when the noise woke me up again. This time
I decided to nvestigate. I pulled on my robe, and headed out the back
door. With the porch light on, I still couldn't see what the animal
was, but I knew that the noise was coming from the woods just behind my
shed.
I shined my flashlight back there, and the noise
stopped. I still couldn't see anything. Then the noise became very
loud, and it sounded like whatever was making it, was running after me!
I dropped my flashlight and ran for my backdoor. As I slammed the door,
it felt like something ran right into it. I just stood there watching
the door, just waiting for Big Foot to jump in and tear my head off,
but nothing happened. No sounds, no movement. I must have stood there
for an hour before finally going to bed with the light on.
It
was three months before anything happened again. I think really I was
waiting, like I was holding my breath. I knew that something was really
going on out there, and it wouldn't just go away. I had just put my two
kids to bed, my husband was at work, and I was finishing off the dinner
dishes. I was drying the dishes when I heard a thump against the back
door. I immediately knew what it was, and my skin broke out in goose
bumps. I turned my head to look at the door and waited. Dust began to
blow in from under the door, and it took me a moment to realize that
something was breathing there. Like it was smelling something or me.
The clouds of dust became bigger, and the breathing noises were more
insistent. I was afraid for my kids, and suddenly I just screamed, "Go
away!"
The breathing only stopped for a moment, and then
the thing started pounding on the door. It was hitting so violently,
that pictures began falling from the walls nearby. I covered my ears,
and could no longer stop the tears from falling down my face. Suddenly
I heard a new noise. I turned around and saw my husband striding
towards me. "What is it?" he practically screamed over the pounding. "I
don't know!" I sobbed. Jack wasted no time. I realized what he planned
to do, and rushed over to him. "No, don't go out there!" I pleaded. His
face was set, and he hurried out the front door. The growling was so
fierce, and the pounding so hard now, that the dining room mirror
cracked down its center. I picked up the phone to call 911 when all of
a sudden the noise stopped.No pounding, no growling. Nothing. All I
could hear was my own breathing and the sound of the ceiling fan chain,
clinking against its base. tink - tink – tink
A
loud knock at the back door caused me to jump, and it took me a moment
to register that it was my husband knocking. "Jayne, open the door," he
said. For a moment, I almost didn't. Something told me not to, but then
I did. I reached out and slowly turned the lock and opened the door.
Jack was standing there, his face white and eyes wide. "There was
nothing there," he said then. "There was nothing at the door." My mouth
fell open, and I stepped outside with him and looked around. Everything
looked normal. There were no animal tracks, and nothing had been
disturbed. Still, there was something in the air, something building,
and something waiting there in the dark. Something still waiting for us
to get comfortable again, to let go of the paranoia. Waiting to come at
us again.
Death by Scrabble
It's a hot day and I hate my wife.
We're
playing Scrabble. That's how bad it is. I'm 42 years old, it's a
blistering hot Sunday afternoon and all I can think of to do with my
life is to play Scrabble.
I
should be out, doing exercise, spending money, meeting people. I don't
think I've spoken to anyone except my wife since Thursday morning. On
Thursday morning I spoke to the milkman.
My letters are crap.
I play, appropriately, BEGIN. With the N on the little pink star. Twenty-two points.
I
watch my wife's smug expression as she rearranges her letters. Clack,
clack, clack. I hate her. If she wasn't around, I'd be doing something
interesting right now. I'd be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I'd be
starring in the latest Hollywood blockbuster. I'd be sailing the Vendee
Globe on a 60-foot clipper called the New Horizons - I don't know, but
I'd be doing something.
She plays JINXED, with the J on a double-letter score. 30 points. She's beating me already. Maybe I should kill her. If only I had a D, then I could play MURDER. That would be a sign. That would be permission. I
start chewing on my U. It's a bad habit, I know. All the letters are
frayed. I play WARMER for 22 points, mainly so I can keep chewing on my
U. As I'm picking new letters from the bag, I find myself
thinking - the letters will tell me what to do. If they spell out KILL,
or STAB, or her name, or anything, I'll do it right now. I'll finish
her off.
My rack spells MIHZPA. Plus the U in my mouth. Damn.
The
heat of the sun is pushing at me through the window. I can hear buzzing
insects outside. I hope they're not bees. My cousin Harold swallowed a
bee when he was nine, his throat swelled up and he died. I hope that if
they are bees, they fly into my wife's throat.
She plays
SWEATIER, using all her letters. 24 points plus a 50 point bonus. If it
wasn't too hot to move I would strangle her right now.
I am
getting sweatier. It needs to rain, to clear the air. As soon as that
thought crosses my mind, I find a good word. HUMID on a double-word
score, using the D of JINXED. The U makes a little splash of saliva
when I put it down. Another 22 points. I hope she has lousy letters.
She tells me she has lousy letters. For some reason, I hate her more.
She plays FAN, with the F on a double-letter, and gets up to fill the kettle and turn on the air conditioning. It's
the hottest day for ten years and my wife is turning on the kettle.
This is why I hate my wife. I play ZAPS, with the Z doubled, and she
gets a static shock off the air conditioning unit. I find this
remarkably satisfying.
She sits back down with a heavy sigh and
starts fiddling with her letters again. Clack clack. Clack clack. I
feel a terrible rage build up inside me. Some inner poison slowly
spreading through my limbs, and when it gets to my fingertips I am
going to jump out of my chair, spilling the Scrabble tiles over the
floor, and I am going to start hitting her again and again and again.
The
rage gets to my fingertips and passes. My heart is beating. I'm
sweating. I think my face actually twitches. Then I sigh, deeply, and
sit back into my chair. The kettle starts whistling. As the whistle
builds it makes me feel hotter.
She plays READY on a double-word for 18 points, then goes to pour herself a cup of tea. No I do not want one. I
steal a blank tile from the letter bag when she's not looking, and
throw back a V from my rack. She gives me a suspicious look. She sits
back down with her cup of tea, making a cup-ring on the table, as I
play an 8-letter word: CHEATING, using the A of READY. 64 points,
including the 50-point bonus, which means I'm beating her now.
She asks me if I cheated.
I really, really hate her.
She plays IGNORE on the triple-word for 21 points. The score is 153 to her, 155 to me.
The
steam rising from her cup of tea makes me feel hotter. I try to make
murderous words with the letters on my rack, but the best I can do is
SLEEP.
My wife sleeps all the time. She slept through an
argument our next-door neighbours had that resulted in a broken door, a
smashed TV and a Teletubby Lala doll with all the stuffing coming out.
And then she bitched at me for being moody the next day from lack of
sleep.
If only there was some way for me to get rid of her.
I spot a chance to use all my letters. EXPLODES, using the X of JINXED. 72 points.
That will show her.
As I put the last letter down, there is a deafening bang and the air conditioning unit fails.
My
heart is racing, but not from the shock of the bang. I don't believe it
- but it can't be a coincidence. The letters made it happen. I played
the word EXPLODES, and it happened - the air conditioning unit
exploded. And before, I played the word CHEATING when I cheated. And
ZAP when my wife got the electric shock. The words are coming true. The
letters are choosing their future. The whole game is - JINXED.
My wife plays SIGN, with the N on a triple-letter, for 10 points.
I have to test this.
I
have to play something and see if it happens. Something unlikely, to
prove that the letters are making it happen. My rack is ABQYFWE. That
doesn't leave me with a lot of options. I start frantically chewing on
the B.
I play FLY, using the L of EXPLODES. I sit back in my
chair and close my eyes, waiting for the sensation of rising up from my
chair. Waiting to fly.
Stupid. I open my eyes, and there's a
fly. An insect, buzzing around above the Scrabble board, surfing the
thermals from the tepid cup of tea. That proves nothing. The fly could
have been there anyway.
I need to play something unambiguous.
Something that cannot be misinterpreted. Something absolute and final.
Something terminal. Something murderous.
My wife plays CAUTION, using a blank tile for the N. 18 points.
My
rack is AQWEUK, plus the B in my mouth. I am awed by the power of the
letters, and frustrated that I cannot wield it. Maybe I should cheat
again, and pick out the letters I need to spell SLASH or SLAY.
Then it hits me. The perfect word. A powerful, dangerous, terrible word.
I play QUAKE for 19 points.
I
wonder if the strength of the quake will be proportionate to how many
points it scored. I can feel the trembling energy of potential in my
veins. I am commanding fate. I am manipulating destiny.
My wife plays DEATH for 34 points, just as the room starts to shake.
I
gasp with surprise and vindication - and the B that I was chewing on
gets lodged in my throat. I try to cough. My face goes red, then blue.
My throat swells. I draw blood clawing at my neck. The earthquake
builds to a climax.
I fall to the floor. My wife just sits there, watching.